Picture Perfect

A 35mm what?  A 35mm camera?  Yes, what you're thinking is exactly what I'm talking about.  That 'old' type of camera where you actually had to buy film.  Once you had taken the limited amount of pictures per roll, you then had to take it back to the store, and drop it off.  You placed it into the little packet and tore off the tab so you could have a 'return stub'.  Once you had waited the given amount of days, usually the film being sent to another location for development and then brought back, you could go back and pick up your pictures.  Many times there were pictures in that roll of film that may have surprised you for a various amount of reasons: i.e. accidentally hitting the button and snapping a shot.  But what a bunch of work for pictures, not to mention that you were also always double checking that you had an extra roll of film or extra batteries.

It is incredibly amazing to me regarding children's reaction whenever you are taking pictures around them.  Whether you're taking them with a phone, an ipod, or an actual digital camera, the minute you snap the shot, you hear these little voices "I want to see"...."let me see''' etc.  And when you try and explain to them that things didn't always use to be the way they are now, they seem to be a bit confused.  'You mean you use to NOT be able to take a pic, and turn right back around a look at it'?

As much as digital photography is a huge convenience and money saver for today's society, it often makes me wonder if there are ever situations in which we have limited ourselves in the sense of true 'candid moments'.   Are we doing the future generations un-justice because we can actually pick and choose what images we want to keep and share with others?  I'm just as guilty as the next person on trying to find that 'perfect shot'.  I often times find myself deleting pics because my face may have looked too 'fluffy', my hair may not have looked right, maybe my position wasn't the ideal look for my body to 'look the best' (let's call it what it is... maybe I looked like I had a muffin top) etc. So, we delete, retake, delete, retake etc.  But maybe if we think a little harder, we're missing the true sense behind the image.  

We take pictures to 'capture the moment'.  To try and keep that image forever in our heads, so not to forget the event etc.  But, if we're so worried about how our hair looks, if we look good enough to not delete the photo, or if we even have make-up on, are we truly capturing 'life'?  Let's face it, we don't always look like we stepped out of a magazine, or just got home from a job interview looking our best.  I believe mothers are probably the worst at this.  Not wanting to be in pics, or deleting the images, because they are too hard on themselves regarding the way they look.... or even what others may think if they would see the pic.  But what true candid moments about life are we capturing if we're only keeping the ones where we look our best?  When our children grow older and there are minimal amount of pictures with Momma in them, are they going to say "it's okay Mom, I wouldn't want those pics anyways if you were looking your best'?  NO!  Just as we all appreciate those special moments caught on camera with our mothers when we were younger, our children deserve that as well... 35mm camera or digital.  Time is a gift, and tomorrow is never promised to anyone.  So make the most of the time we have and create those special memories, savoring every moment, and capturing even the 'bad' images through photography.  I encourage/challenge everyone, especially the mom's out there, to take a minimum of 3 pics a week of you and your children doing whatever you may be doing.  It doesn't matter how they look, don't delete them.  Keep them.  Share them.  Remember the moment for everything that it was... full of love.  And someday, your kids will thank you knowing you were there every step of the way, not just on the 'good days'.

Just to share some of my 'not-so-good' moments :)

Xoxo 

Jacey

Oh the Mom-Guilt

All you mothers know exactly what I'm talking about.  Picture this, you try and try to get pregnant and then you finally turn a positive pregnancy test.  After taking about 5 more tests (just to be sure that pink + you saw was right), you then get into the groove of having a little human developing inside of you.  You give birth, and then yes, those nurses allow you to take that little infant home.  All by yourself.  No round the clock care, no pediatrician coming in to make daily rounds making sure your little peanut looks perfect... just you, your husband, and your newest little love.

So you begin your new life.  Caring for this new little life.  Feeding, resting, changing, feeding, changing, feeding, changing.... you get the point.  As you're trying to adjust into this new life style you question yourself.  You doubt yourself.  All you want for this child is to do everything perfect, but how do you know what 'perfect' is?

Something no one ever told me about was, the overwhelming Guilt that comes along with being a mother.  I often times feel guilty about whether I'm doing the 'right thing', at the 'right time'.  I'll never forget one of my very first 'guilty moments'.  We'd only been home for a maybe two weeks, and Muffin was feeding every two hours.  It usually seemed that she was always up to eat sometime around 5am.  I sent my mom a text pretty similar to this "am I a bad mom that I rocked my baby girl back to sleep so I could go back to bed, instead of getting her dressed and ready for the day...and worry about sleep when she's napping?"   Really?  Looking back now, I think 'for the love of all sleeping creatures'... did I really think I shouldN'T go back to bed?  And did I really think that 5 in the morning would be a sufficient time to get my child's day started?  But Holy Moses, did I feel guilty, thinking I was just trying to rock my baby back into that milk coma just to get some rest myself.  Rest assured, my mom put the sense back into my sleep deprived head stating that she needed the sleep, and that 5 was a little early to be getting any baby's day started.

And then there was another text to mom:  "I feel guilty that sometimes when Amlin is awake, I just let her lay there with her eyes open and am not right there talking to her etc.... even though she's content and not fussing".  Mom to the rescue again.  Her response:  'She's fine,  as long as she's happy.  It's good for her to spend some time by herself, exploring and looking around etc.'  

What about the time when we went in for her one month check-up and she'd only gained 5 ounces in 3 weeks (she had gained at her first weight check, which is why we hadn't been back to the doc's office for a bit)  Yes, the tears started flowing.  So now you're telling this new breastfeeding mom of 3 weeks that she's starving her child?  Guilty

Drink a cup of coffee in the morning while still breastfeeding- guilty

Have an occasional glass of wine while still breastfeeding - guilty 

Not read the weather report and dress her too warm / too cold - guilty

Let her sleep in her car seat for 5 minutes when we first get home from 

daycare so I can get changed etc. - guilty

Things that I use to not think twice about making the decision for myself, have now become HUGE decisions since I'm making them for someone else.  Some of the best parenting advice I received from a girlfriend of mine was this:

"you will receive LOADS of unsolicited parenting advice.  Take from it what you like (if any) and discard the rest".  She simply reminded me of this:  the end of the day, I have to do what's right for our family.  And although this may mean that I don't heed to the advice given by whomever, it doesn't make me any better or worse of a parent.  

All we want for her is to be healthy and grow, be happy, and learn.  Learn ethics and morals, learn love and compassion, be educated and productive.  We'll do everything we can to be sure these goals are being met.  Of course this may be a bit biased, but I truly believe there is not a more loved child in the whole world!  And since I've now gotten FOUR whole months of parenting under my belt ;), I have learned to ease up on myself, and not feel guilty about every little thing.  I'm/we (don't be fooled, I probably  have one of the most involved/hands-on husbands ever... I'm so blessed!) are doing the best we can.  And when we see faces like this, I'd say we're doing a pretty damn good job!  

Love to al

Jacey

Just a LONG Hiatus

Hey there!

Yes, can you believe it?  It's me... back on my blog.  I seemed to have taken quite the hiatus from my little corner of the internet.  I'm not sure what really happened... just busy with Life I guess.  But, I've decided to start back up again.   I have a lot stirring up in my head (uh-oh ;), so I'll write about it.  And for those of you who choose to read, I'll share my thoughts.  My goal is once a week.  I'm sure I may skip the occasional week, and there may be some times when I write more than once (on 'those weeks'  when if you don't put your thoughts on 'paper', your head may explode :).  You may find some of my entries funny, cute, serious, touching, or just plain 'ranting', but at the end of the day, it's my opinion.  Therefore, as you enjoy reading, I hope you do appreciate that this is based on my opinion, and that no one takes offense to anything they may read.  If that's the case, you can merely click on that small little 'x' in the upper right corner and shut me and my thoughts out of yours :).  

So, let me catch you up:

Things which remain the same:

*  I'm still married to The Husband (aka Jackie Boy, aka JB) and still adore him, even
     more than when I said 'I do'

*  I'm still working for the same medical sales company.  I just hit my 7th year
     this month with this company, and have now been working in the medical sales
     industry for 8 years.

*  We still have our 2 fur-babies brats who tend to think they run the show

*  We're still living in the Mid-west... same town, same house.... in the same cul-de-sac... AKA
     The Sac... which I'm sure at some point, you may read about the Sac and its members

Things which have changed (okay, so besides my age):

*  I'm a MOMMY!!  We have a Sweet, Beautiful, blue-eyed, baby Girl!!  We were blessed
     with our little Gift on 14 February 2013 and named her Amlin (AKA Love Muffin...or just
     Muffin)

*  My heart!  I'd be a fool to say otherwise. Becoming a mother is the most amazing this I've
     ever experienced. The second I heard that little cry, my heart forever  changed.  I just
     never knew how much you could love someone until our little Heart arrived.  I'm sure I'll
     be sharing lots of my 'blog time' on my experiences parenting etc.... in fact, I'm sure some
     of you tenured parents will find it a bit humorous from time to time

*  We sold the Mercury!  That's right.... she took her final cruise out of the city limits just
     last weekend!  You can read all about her here:  What a bitter-sweet departure (Ha...
     yea right ;).  She left with 162,000 miles on her.  And since I bought her used, we ONLY
     spent 149,000 of those miles together.  Now, THAT'S a bond.  But, with this new
    parenting gig I've been blessed with, our baby girl needed to be toted around in something
    much safer, and much more dependable.... Only the best for her :)

Other than that, we, now a family of 3 (+2 fur-friends), remain status-quo.  I look forward to writing again, and hearing any comments you readers may have.  Have a great weekend!

Until next time,

Jacey