Everyone needs a CF... Or two!

How do you describe a cousin, who is your friend?  And not just any friend, but one of your best friends.  And not just a best friend because you're around the same age and your parents made you hang out together, but your best friend because over the years, you have continued to choose to hang out and grow the friendship.  This, my friends, is called a CF, or Cousin-Friend, and I happen to have two of them.  And yes, we refer to each other as CF's quite frequently.

One of my CF's grew up about a mile from me.  For all you city folks, she literally lived clear on the other side of town.  And yes, that just happened to be One. Whole. Mile.  We're about 4 years apart in age, me being the elder, which made her a Freshman when I was a Senior.  I 'babysat' her when we were younger (although looking back I think it was more 'we occupied each other's time') and drove her to school once I got my license.  She is now married and a 5th grade school teacher.  Unfortunately, we are separated by a little over 500 miles and 3 states.

CF number two grew up in Florida.  Although by all 'technical terms', she'd be considered my step-cousin, she's Nothing less than my blood cousin, just as my other CF.  In fact, she's been around so long I can't even remember when she joined the family.  I want to say when she was about 6 or 7... but regardless, she's been around for as long as I can remember.  We're two years apart in age and 850 miles in distance.  She earned her PhD and is a college professor at a state university.

From the time I can remember, we've been inseparable when we were together.  Make sense?  Probably not.  I mean, anytime CF2 came up from Florida, the three of us spent the majority of her visit together.

 This is us - Circa 1988??

Out of 10 cousins in our generation, we are by far the closest.  But what was once cousins growing up and playing together because we were all at the same place etc., has become so much more.  You see, over time, as we've become adults, it's been our choice to remain close.  It's been our choice to stay friends.  Yes, we're cousins, but we're friends.  We share in each other's joys & triumphs, frustrations & sorrows just as friends do.  We're the type of friends who will never let each other forget our most embarrassing moments.  We can tell each other anything and know that it's not going to be repeated... ever.  We're real... many times never sugar coating anything, but being honest about our thoughts and ideas whether we agree or disagree with one another.  There's a mutual respect that we can all voice our own opinions and no one gets their 'panties in a wad' etc.  

WTH... that's all I can say.  1995

1998?

Once we were old enough to make our own decisions, we continued to choose to see each other.  And as we progressed through our twenties, what was once playing beauty shop then became a raging party.  No matter what state we decided to meet in, we left that place like something just slapped it with a wet wooden spoon.... it didn't know what hit.  We had a tendency to get over-served on several occasions, and although you'd think we'd learn what caused this from visit to visit, it never stopped us.  On these same trips, we would spend many quality mornings, sitting in whatever kitchen nook or deck just sipping on coffee and chatting, well into the afternoon.  These weekends would be full of laughter & fun, and as we would part ways, we'd always discuss when the next possible meeting would be.

2001?

As we continue to 'grow-up', we still make it a point to get together.  And although it may be only a couple times a year, it always seems that we're able to pick up right where we left off.  During the week, we're professionals, put us together on a weekend and that's a whole other story.  The professionalism needs a break... We may be fairly crude, say cuss words, and still have a tendency to get over-served. But that's us.  

         Ph.D. Graduation Party - 2011

So, this past week, our house was graced with the presence of my two CF's.  It was the first time we've all seen each other since Amlin was born.  There was no doubt that we would have just as good of a time this time, as the hundreds of other times we've gotten together over the years.   I knew things would be a bit different and a little more slower-paced, but I couldn't wait to see them and share with them my new joy of motherhood.  Although neither of then have their own children by choice, they have been so overjoyed and supportive of JB and I's new role as parents.

Although I did not partake in the extra circular drinking festivities, we still enjoyed all the time we spent together.  At one point on the morning of the 4th, we were all sitting around the kitchen table.  I made the comment about how I loved no matter where we met, we always ended up around the table, picking/painting our nails, listening to CMT, drinking coffee, and talking.  This morning 'ritual' was once a 'pick-me-up' from the night before, reminiscing about the prior evening's events and now has become something we still continue, even with a new 4 month old attendee. 

My how times have changed over the years.  From being those little girls who played together when we were young, to the party animals that we were, to now sharing in the joys of career triumphs, and motherhood.   I was reminded of how blessed I am to have two wonderful women in my life who I am so lucky to call my friends.