Kitchen. Fail.

Awwww... that big, nice, soft, white hunk of Lard.  Yep, I said it. LARD.  You know, that stuff I had to ask for a tour of Hy-Vee to find (you can read about my adventure here) last week?  And the stuff my Grandma said doesn't make a pie crust a Pie Crust without it? 

So, off I go this weekend... making a pecan pie, from scratch, including the crust.  Doing this all for the sake of sweet Hubs.  He recently celebrated the big 3-4 and while he flew off half way across the world (no joke, try finding Micronesia on a map... good luck) on his birthday, I had promised him the dinner of 'his choice' when he got back.  His choice included a night at home with me cooking steaks on the grill.  With that came some awesome garlic oven roasted veggies, and of course I couldn't forget desert for the birthday boy. 

Let me preface by saying I love to cook and have (surprisingly) had very few 'Kitchen Fails'.  I love trying new recipes and if I'm not happy with it, figuring out ways to tweak them.  Hubs loves pecan pie and even though I'd never made one, I thought 'Why Not'?  So Grandma emailed me her crust recipe and Saturday morning I start slaving putting my heart into this meal.  I hadn't made a pie crust since I was a little girl at my Grandpa & Grandma's farm house back in Illinois.  That's what I wanted to do almost every time I was there visiting, and the way I remember, many times I got my way!  A flood of memories came back, and I could literally hear my Grandma saying 'now don't use too much flour when you're rolling that out....you don't want too much flour etc.'  So just to make sure it tasted okay, I used some of the extra dough, rolled it out, and added cinnamon & sugar and baked it... Just like when I was a little girl.  And SURPRISE... I didn't fall over from dry heaving it was actually just like I remembered, yummy and flaky.

Next onto the pie filling.  Read recipe, measure, mix, and pour into the crust.  Wha-la!!

The finished product 

Please people, don't let this beauty fool you.  Don't let the one piece out of the pie before I could whip my camera out and snap a pic, fool you.  And don't let the missing pecans snatched out of the topping by a little kid who couldn't leave their hands out of it Hubs, fool you.  Yes people, this was a Kitchen. Fail.  DISGUSTING.  What I didn't tell you earlier was I had found a 'new recipe' that called for bourbon & molasses.  For some reason, this Better Crocker thought it sounded so 'different and good'.  Wrong.  Never again will I be using molasses... specifically in a pecan pie.  Karo syrup, you have your place, and very well deserved! 

The good news is, Hubs is still living, and he did finish the whole piece of pie he took (and tried to say it wasn't 'that bad').  Our neighbor even took the 'test challange' and once again, FAIL.  I was so appalled that I made something so nasty it immediately found it's way straight in the trash.  But I did learn that I can make one heck of a pie crust... all testers concurred. 

AND, just for the record.  I made up for this fail on Sunday, making a nice spread of chicken w/ lemon sauce, twice baked potato casserole, and apple crisp.  Betty. Crocker. Is. Back.

Happy Monday!

Love,
Jacey